I thought about adding a subtitle: Or, Why Your Degree(s), Title(s), and Other Such Hyperbolic Self-Identifying Initials Fail to Impress Me and Most Other People.
But that strikes me as a sort of whiny, useless, even self-aggrandizing explanation of something we can all readily identify.
In fact, it brings to mind one of those saucy, rambling, yawn-inducing, pontificating books written by both the liberal and conservative pundits, all decrying one another and boring the tears out of the rest of us.
SO I junked it.
But I do want to start this year off by giving y’all an update about my stolen-then-returned beloved Toyota Sequoia.
I’m warning you, though – this story stars Incompetence, and it is almost certain that you are not going to believe me.
It’s all true, though.
And – you can quote me on it.
Actually, if you’re going to restate anything I write, you’d better ask first, or link back to it.
(If you don’t already know my position on plagiarism and Academic Identity Theft, educate yourself. I might even be President-elect Trump’s last hope for a speech-checker / writer who has never had a problem churning out original content…)
Back to Incompetence, albeit on a local level.
You must know that we were all kind of shocked that we got our SUV back, but then again, this lying thief hadn’t counted on my dad showing up.
After all the drama, we were told by the police that they would follow up with us after the incident, and of course we were informed when they arrested the perpetrator within that same 24 hour period.
That’s how the police do things.
But then we didn’t hear from anyone for a while.
As I happen to have a, shall we say, more personal understanding of how often law enforcement officers are
hounded badgered contacted by otherwise well-meaning civilians who have no inkling of how arrests and warrants and such are actually served (by the police, with a judge’s signature) and processed (completely up to the courts after the warrant is served and perp arrested), I chose to wait and not bother our local department – or any of the local attorneys’ offices.
I just assumed that the attorney who’d been assigned the case would reach out to me when a court date approached, or when Something Happened regarding our case.
Of course, I stand miserably corrected.
Even though I wasn’t sure where our case would end up (circuit or district court), I knew a few things for sure:
- The thief and his accomplice left their driver’s licenses in my truck, along with several other nasty items, including a syringe in my sunglasses holder. We knew who they were – and the actual thief admitted his theft when he was arrested.
- The perp had other serious offenses. Like numerous drug offenses, warrants, violent stuff. Shudder.
- This guy was 39 years old at the time of the theft. Hold that thought – it’ll come in handy soon.
- He was charged with Theft by Unlawful Taking (auto) – over $10,000.
Being mindful of how busy people are, I continued to wait.
And after one month, I got tired of waiting.
Now, I know court logs get backed up, but surely this guy had made at least one court appearance, right? I mean, I sorta wanted to be there…
And so I contacted the arresting officer at our local police department.
Who told me that she’d never been subpoenaed. That she’d check into it.
And reported back to me that he had pled down to Unauthorized Use of a Vehicle.
Yes – you read that correctly.
He stole my truck from my driveway in the dead of night, trashed it, did drugs in it, and stole my Mahler and Rachel Carson texts. God only knows what else he did in it.
But he walks out of this arrest with a reduced charge usually reserved for unruly teens who ‘borrow’ Daddy’s car to ride around for a few hours?
Apparently, his defense attorney communicated to the county attorney that it was his mother’s vehicle, and that he just borrowed it for a few days to ‘joyride’.
Now we all know for sure that it’s pretty much a proven fact: Most attorneys perform poorly in mathematics.
I’d suspected as much in college – it was my go-to profession before I spent a semester in London and discovered the Tate Gallery. I’ve never been good at math, and I enjoy a good
argument debate, and I’m a fairly decent writer, so of course law school was my natural choice.
Anyway. These local yokels apparently can’t perform basic math: How do they just stand there and nod and take a meth-head’s word for it that he’d used his mom’s car without permission?
I mean, really? He’s 39? I’m 45!!
Just look at the paperwork, people! Since when can a 6 year old girl give birth?
Isn’t this just the craziest story?
Long days of being really, really ticked off followed, and we heard from the county attorney that another court date was scheduled to see if they could…well, who knows. I’m not sure why they even scheduled it.
I went anyway. My friend, who also happens to be the judge, came in a few minutes later to tell me that there wasn’t anything he could do. It’d all been done.
And you know what? I get that. It’s not his fault. He had to trust what he was told by these two licensed attorneys.
One did his job fairly well – he successfully defended a drug-addled thief who’s at this very moment probably all freaked out and looking for his daddy’s car.
The other did very poorly. I’m not even sure ‘lazy’ covers it.
Which is why I went with ‘Incompetent’.
Seems that we are ever burdened with it these days.
Driving? My word, don’t even get me started on Incompetent Drivers.
Dining out? No, thank you. And you know what I’m talking about.
But to save my peace of mind, I’ll just wrap it up here. It’s just not worth getting worked up about. So many things aren’t worth that kind of mental energy – it’s wasteful, really.
I just wanted to give y’all an update.
By the way, I am getting used to my new vehicle, as close to the ground as it’s brought me. I’ll not reflect on that either.
Yes, I miss my truck. Idiot wrecked the transmission during his ‘joyride’, as we so suddenly discovered on our way to North Carolina, just a few days after we got it back. And put new tires on it.
How’s your year going so far? Do tell.